The Writing of Olivia Luchini
A Literary Portfolio
With a writing career that spans 15 years in a 20-year-old lifetime, I can promise quality, consistency, and entertainment in my writings. I have served as an editor for several publications for the past six years of my life, and thus I value organization and accuracy. Most importantly, my lofty experience in comedic and entertainment writing, including my own standup comedy sets, skits, and so on, is what fuels my passion to bring joy to the lives of those around me.
Who? Lil' ol' me?
A Bit About Olivia Luchini
From the time that I could read, I have been writing stories of every genre. My love for comedy followed just after my passion for writing was born when my dad started letting me watch Saturday Night Live at far too young an age (we're talking five, tops). Since I emerged into childhood rather shy, writing was the easiest way for me to express myself without feeling uncomfortable. Eventually, my extroverted personality developed and this is when I began to do standup comedy, theatre, and so forth. I knew by the age of ten that I wanted to be a comedic writer, and thus began a lifetime of writing for publications, writing my own scripts, and forever searching for ways to make others' days just a little bit brighter, even if it means roasting myself or looking rather ridiculous in front of people that I shouldn't, like the chancellor of UC Davis.
I have written for four different publications, edited for three, and have taken several courses in journalism, playwriting, professional editing, copy editing, creative writing, grammar, and more while pursuing my English major at the University of California, Davis. I am what they call an "overachiever" and "general lunatic" due to how much I am involved on campus, as noted through my three jobs, membership in six clubs, and leadership positions in many of those. I like having a voice and I like using my voice, but I also crave learning from others and am a great listener when it comes to being directed by my employers and superiors.
The following is a listing of some of my professional experiences and past positions. Each of these roles was unique and they all contributed to both my personal and professional development as a writer. In addition to these roles, I’ve also been involved in several creative projects. Find out more by getting in touch.
Humorist, The California Aggie
For this publication, I write satirical articles that parody college life and the culture around UC Davis. I often reference pop culture and attempt to produce content that is not only readable for current students, but also for alumni who still follow the publication. I have had articles gain over 30,000 hits at this job. In total, I have written over 50 articles.
Senior Editor/Writer, Her Campus
have written over 20 articles for Her Campus and edited four to six articles a week for over a year now. Not only has this given me a keen eye for editing, but it has also given me experience in online publishing and some forms of coding. In terms of writing, I produce both comedic and serious, advice-driven articles for this publication and I see similar successes in both. One of my articles for this site gained 9,000 views in less than a week.
Editor-in-Chief, The Pride
June 2014-June 2015
After serving as a writer and sports editor for a year on my high school's newspaper, I led a team of 20 students in producing content over five different sections and developed skills in copyediting, content editing, and pitching. I developed organizational skills, leadership skills, and knack for working under pressure here that would only make my passion for writing well grow stronger.
Features Editor, The California Aggie
A member of the managing staff of the University of California, Davis' publication. I oversee a team of writers and edit all articles that pertain to the "Features" section of our paper, which typically showcases the personality and depth of our campus and its members.
I have written over 50 comedy articles for The California Aggie and 30 articles for Her Campus. Collectively, my articles for The California Aggie have gained about 100,000 hits. One of my articles for Her Campus drew over 9,000 views in one week. I strive to write comedy that people want to interact with. Outside of comedic articles, I work on scripts for comedic television shows based on my real experiences. Additionally, I am in the process of spearheading two comedic podcasts and one all-women imrpov team. As you can see, I love being busy.
Humor: Library book to file for divorce after not being touched for 20 years
[An article for The California Aggie found here]
A loveless existence on a dark, dusty shelf will no longer do for one library book.
Twenty years ago, one book was swept off its feet and out of a box in a bookstore. It was promised a new, beautiful life. A statue of a guy holding a shoe, a reading room with an amazingly blank ceiling to stare at when life gets boring and over 30,000 students were all supposed to help this little text’s dreams come true. However, life is never that glamorous.
“It all started out fine,” the book said. “In the ‘90s, I’d get read once a week. I was always checked out. There was a waiting list just to get your paws on me. Then those bastards kept improving the computer till everyone could have one. Computers ruin marriages!”
Soon, students were lined up in the library just staring at these screens, not even trying to hide their gazes from the book. In the shadows, the book looked on, smoking a cigarette and no longer caring about how the smoke would affect its pages.
“I’d ask if they needed me for writing their paper,” the book said. “They wouldn’t even look up from their stupid laptops, telling me that they’d ‘find a source online.’ Why are you rummaging through Google when you have the real thing right here? They’d just look at me and whisper, ‘It’s easier this way.’ It ain’t!”
The book tried to get the students’ attention through several desperate attempts. It started out with a new book jacket, trying to be more eye-catching. Then it moved on to pretending it was interested in the things that the students liked.
“Boy, do I love fidget spinners and me-mes!” the book would taunt, not realizing how foolish it looked for mispronouncing the word “memes” and thus throwing water on any possible romantic flame.
Every once in awhile, the book would get checked out and would immediately think that life was about to change for the better. But no! One lazy student would just find one quote on the third page to shove into an essay as their single, required, non-digital source and then just toss the book to the side. They didn’t even make it to the book’s climax.
“I got what I needed,” one student said. “I’m tired, stressed and unemployed. What do you want from me? “Love Actually?” I’m not writing you for 365 days like Gosling! I can hardly text my mom back.”
Finally gaining courage, the book had had enough. It packed its pages and dramatically whipped off the label on its spine, the wedding ring of books to libraries. The students didn’t even look up to notice as the book waddled out of the library and into a new life.
“I’m nobody’s boo thang, son,” the book said, as it whipped on its sunglasses.
Humor: Man breaks Tinder after adding that he likes Netflix to his bio
[An article for The California Aggie found here.]
Every so often, God takes just a little more time on one person than the others. In the year 1996, this person was Daniel Fallon. When it comes to having a unique personality, Fallon runs circles around the average Joe. His favorite movie is “The Dark Knight,” an indie film that you’ve probably never heard of, and his favorite food is pizza, an Italian dish that has yet to make its way to the states. The point is this: we can expect magic from Daniel Fallon.
However, not even Fallon could have predicted the amount of fame that would come to him when he downloaded Tinder. He couldn’t decide on a bio at first, but then he found it — the most unique one possible.
“I really went with my gut,” Fallon said. “My bio reads: ‘Chill guy who likes Netflix and hiking. Not looking for anything serious.’ I thought it was pretty wild because pretty much no one likes Netflix. It’s kind of controversial. I thought it might even lead to a backlash.”
But oh, how wrong Fallon was! Women flocked to his profile in awe of his utter superiority to the average human male. Accompanying this genius bio was a photo of Fallon, not smiling (an artistic choice to represent the economy), in front of a nature-centric backdrop of trees, rocks and other outdoors stuff like, I don’t know, bears.
“The minute I saw the picture of him hiking combined with the bio that said he likes hiking, I knew I was dealing with someone special,” eligible suitor Hannah Jones said. “It’s like, how is he not married or something?”
Fallon sadly had to delete the app after a hailstorm of notifications made his phone freeze. Just like Icarus, this man flew too close to the sun. All of the women who swiped right on him held a funeral for his profile.
“It’s just so tragic,” one sobbing member of the congregation said. “We finally find the perfect man, someone with a pulse and decent grammar who knows what a hill is, and he’s gone… just like that.”
Daniel Fallon is now working out a brand deal with Dos Equis to replace their current “Most Interesting Man in the World.” He met with me one last time before he flew to the City of Angels to make it big. Letting out a single chuckle, he looked back fondly on his Tinder career.
“It’s actually funny,” he said. “I don’t even like hiking, I just thought it was sketch to not have a bio. Bon voyage!”
Permanent Awkward Phase: A Podcast
Hosts Olivia Luchini and Julie Torres look to solve the mystery of the awkward phase through comedy and self-reflection as well as interviews with others in which they beg the question, "Did your awkward phase make you or break you?"In an attempt to find out what classic phases, from the middle school era to the freshman year of college one, and more niche phases, such as High School Musical worship or a serious dedication to Greek mythology, do to our development and how we see life. As two comediennes, Olivia and Julie lok for the humor in what is
Women Aren't Funny: An Improv Team
Olivia Luchini and Julie Torres thought of the idea for an all-women, comedy group back in the spring of 2018, but found themselves to be two very lonely comedic ladyfish in a large not-so-comedic sea. Through WAF, or "The Waffles," Luchini and Torres hope to create more opportunities for women to find their comedic voice and embrace the weird in life through stand-up, improv, and more.
Spark, Of the Guard
I have been working on this science-fiction novel for nearly a year. It features material about discovering personal strength, individuality, believing in oneself, and noticing insecurities caused by others, portrayed through the character Spark, who is an alien guardian of the earth with powers and a mission to save the human race after spending over 2,000 years dreaming of coming to their planet from her home on Dimension Zero.
I have been writing poetry for my entire life, but I created several blogs to showcase my work upon becoming more accustomed to the internet and its different sharing platforms. Here are two places where you can find my work: Instagram @wrongwomanwrites and through Tumblr at olivialuchinipoetry.tumblr.com
"Do your thing and don't care if they like it."